Drivers Education
by LanceIsHot
Summary: Who's the one who gave Kitty her driver's permit? More importantly, who would give her her first driving lesson?
1. Red Asphalt

Okay, I'm taking driving school now, and I thought, "who the hell would give Kitty her learner's permit?" Especially after mutants were exposed. The answer, my oddball teacher, Khash. The first chapter is a bit...well...unhumorfull, but it will get funnier. I mean, the only stories that are funnier than Kitty's cooking is her driving. So, read and review!  
  
Kitty Pryde got out of Scott's car and looked at the building ahead of her. The "Teen Driving and Traffic School." She couldn't believe it- she was going to learn how to drive. She already knew she was going to be great- Kurt had gotten her to play all those stupid video games with race cars, and she actually won. Okay, so she only won once, but she figured Kurt was really good, and so, if she won once, that made her good to.  
  
Scott Summers was having similar thoughts. After all, she couldn't sew, she couldn't do laundry, and she really couldn't cook, there had to be something she was good at, why not driving. 'And besides,' he thought to himself, 'she's been watching me drive for a while now; she's got to have picked up some good driving skills.' As he said good-bye and drove off, he vaguely wondered if she had picked up Logan's driving style, but brushed off the thought, thinking that Kitty was smart enough to know who the better driver was. If only he knew how wrong he was.  
  
Kitty mentally made a check of all her things. 'Okay, highlighter, check. Pencil and pen, double check. Number...number? What's my ID number?' she panicked a minute, before she remembered Rogue telling her to write it on her hand, saying something about how blondes weren't the only stupid ones, but Kitty brushed it off. 'Alrighty, my number is....' a quick check to the hand.... 2639, cool. I am so ready for this.'  
  
She opened the door and walked into her classroom for the next few days. It looked like an ordinary classroom, but it had some traffic signs hanging on the wall, and TV's in two of the corners. She looked around brightly, looking for a face she knew, when she saw Lance. Her first reaction was to jump up and give him a kiss, but then she remembered that they were currently broken up, so she took the seat furthest away from him, but he noticed her and got walked toward her.  
  
"Hey Kitty," he said, sliding into the seat in front of her, sitting backward so he could see her.  
  
"Hi, Lance," she said stiffly, trying not to look at him. "What are you doing here anyways? You already have your license."  
  
"Well, I also have a few tickets, and the judge is making me take this class, mostly because I never really took it before," Lance said.  
  
Kitty was about to ask how he got a license without taking driver's ed, but decided not to. This was the boy who had knocked down two schools, tried to make her steal test answers, and was a high school drop out. Faking a license didn't really seem that big compared to everything else.  
  
Instead she said, "I don't want to know how you got away with that, and I have nothing to say to you, so, if you will go away that'd be great."  
  
Lance looked hurt for a second, and then replied, "You'll think differently once the class finds out that you're a mutant, and I'm the only one that talks to you." With that, he sauntered back to his seat, confident that he had gotten his point across.  
  
"GOOD MORNING CLASS!" a loud voice boomed. Kitty slightly jumped in her seat, looking at the man who she supposed was her new teacher. He was short, and slightly overweight, but looked nice enough. "My name is Khash, not Mr. Khash, but Khash, okay? Now, you're all here because you want to drive, and you're in luck, because I'm the best instructor in Bayville. Now, you see that blank space on the wall there?" he asked, pointing to a space between some of the signs. "That is for the day when someone fails the written part of their test. No one has ever failed that part twice. I know sometimes people get overconfident, and don't study, but no one fails twice. If you do, I will blow up your picture, and put, 'this person is a dumb ass' underneath."  
  
The class looked around, obviously shocked. All of them had heard adults cussing, but their teachers? This was just too weird, teachers gave out detentions for cussing, and they weren't supposed to do it. Kitty decided right then that this was going to be a weird class.  
  
"Now class, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Mr. Stick," Khash said, showing them a thin, long stick. "Now, Mr. Stick is a big help in this class," he slammed the stick down on the table, making everyone jump. "You see, if you fall asleep, my good friend here can wake you up. Now, let's get to know each other a little better. Who here goes to El Dorado?" Two of the students raised their hands. "Okay, and Valencia?" Three more students raised their hands. This continued with a few more schools that Kitty recognized from around the district, until, finally, "and Bayville?" Kitty and Lance both raised their hands, even though Lance technically didn't go there anymore.  
  
"Ew, Bayville? That's where all those...those freaks are," one of the girl's said, staring at Lance and Kitty, frightened that they were two of the mutants she had seen on the news.  
  
"Like, mutants are everywhere, Bayville is just the only place they no about," Kitty snapped, glaring at the girl.  
  
"Hey, I know you, you're one of the mutants on the news," one of the boys said, and the whole class either inched away from Kitty, or gave her dirty glares.  
  
"Yeah, what about it?" Lance said, starting to stand, when the teacher stopped him.  
  
"That will be enough, I think. Now listen up you two," he said to Lance and Kitty, "I don't give a shit of who or what you are, that means nothing in my class." He addressed the other students, "and I don't want any fighting coming from anybody in this class, we're here to drive, not talk about all this mutant crap." He smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Now, since we have that out of the way, let's get to the fun stuff."  
  
Some of the students glanced around uneasily, were they going to be driving on their first day? Most of them had never been in the drivers seat of a car, and weren't anxious to take their first ride in front of strangers. But Khash took a dry-erase marker, and started talking about some of the rules of the road. Kitty sank down in her seat. This was ridiculous, everyone knows that green light means go, red light means stop, and don't drink and drive, let's get to the fun stuff! Kitty was not at all worried about taking her first car ride in a place full of strangers, most of which hated her, she wanted to drive.  
  
After about two hours, Khash handed out a test.  
  
"Okay people; let's see how many of you actually pay attention to my lectures?"  
  
Kitty looked at her test eagerly. "The colors of the arrows controlling turns are: Green, yellow, and red. Green and red Green, yellow, red, and blue. Blue? What is this, Kmart?" Kitty asked herself, before marking a. Most of the questions were ridiculously easy, like, "What do you do at a Stop Sign?" But Kitty got a few tough one's that made her think. And of course, when she thought, Kitty had a tendency to doodle. She was halfway through writing, "Lance," "Kitty Alvers" and, "Lance Alvers in swirly letters before she realized what she was doing, and erased all of it. "Stupid Lance," she muttered under her breath, making the girl sitting next to her give her a funny look.  
  
"Alright then class, let's see how you did." After rattling of the right answers, and Kitty giving a slight, "yes" every time she got the right answer, Khash said, "Now, it's time for our next movie. It's just a coincidence that it happens right before lunch, but, if you need to barf, go outside." The class gave each other funny looks. What movie could be that bad? They had seen all kinds of sick movies with horrible accidents, and none of them blinked, so most of them were confident that this was just another weird perk of there teacher- over -dramatization.  
  
"Aw, shit," the girl next to Kitty said under her breath, "Red Asphalt." Kitty looked at her questioningly. "My friend took this class before; she said this movie's really gross." Kitty was confused, what was so bad about a movie, sure, she had cried during Bambi, but, this was a movie, Bambi was a cute little deer. She was sure the girl was overreacting.  
  
As she watched the movie, Kitty realized how wrong she was. From the first scene, which showed a freeway accident, Kitty knew that this was no ordinary movie. There were two people hosting the show, a policewoman, and a camera guy. They went through about 8 different accidents, from as minor as a slight collision, to a scene where a little girl was holding her head, screaming from the pain. Kitty was starting to get very nervous about this. The next scene showed a horrible accident, where the driver hadn't made it and his head had been cut open, and some medics were scraping his brains from the street. Kitty turned away, not being able to watch. This movie was horrible, how could they show it on their first day? The people on TV were stressing on how most people get in a car accident every 10 years, and Kitty was having second doubts on if she wanted to be in this class. She was only going into 10th grade; she could take this class next summer, when maybe she would be ready for this. But the movie ended, and the feelings and slightly passed. Khash started drawing on the board. The class drew in a breath, was he going to talk about some horrible crash he was in? He started drawing a map. Was he going to show where it happened? He started drawing X's on the board. The students had no idea where their teacher was headed.  
  
"This," he said, pointing to one of the X's, "is Burger Bomb. This," he pointed to another X, "is Del Taco." He continued pointing out the fast food places within walking distance of the school. "It's lunch time," he said, "get out of here." So much for a stirring speech about avoiding accidents, and driving safely. 


	2. Squirrels and Dinosuars

A/N Okay, sorry this chapter's kind of short, but I'm tired, driving school really wipes a girl out. But I graduated! Okay, anyways, I forgot a disclaimer yesterday, so, here it is: I don't own it. Okay, that should be good enough. Anyways, I don't know why Lance is here, I didn't mean to put him in the story, he just kind of showed up, so don't ask me. Khash is sort of a real person, with the name sort of changed, and a little weirder, so, yes, there are actually teachers like that. Who knew? So, on with the story!  
  
Kitty Pryde slowly walked across the street to Burger Bomb, not really sure if she could eat anything, the more gory scenes in the movie probably killed any kind of eating for today. She watched as one of the cars swerved into the right turn lane, almost hitting another car.  
  
'Gee,' she thought, 'what if I, like, drive like that?' She thought for a second, and decided, 'no I won't. I am Kitty Pryde, Shadowcat. I can do anything. And even if I can't, I can just use my powers.'  
  
She smiled, thinking of what a great driver she was going to be, when she felt a hand slink around her waist.  
  
"Lance, like, go away," she said, pushing him away.  
  
"Ah, Kitty, come on, I'm sorry for the whole school meeting thing," Lance said, giving her the cutest face he could manage. Kitty stared at him for a second, trying to see if he was telling the truth. "How about I buy you lunch, and we'll talk, okay?"  
  
"Please, you know that you don't have the money to feed yourself, let alone me," she scoffed, which brought a slight grin to his face.  
  
"Actually, I do have some money," Lance said. "You see, Magneto's back, and, since we have to put up with his psychotic son, he gives us a nice allowance. I don't know if he thinks he can buy are trust or what, but he sure gives us a lot. So, how about it, Burger Bomb on me?"  
  
"Okay," Kitty said, and they walked over to Burger Bomb together, just like old times.  
  
"So," Lance said when they were seated, "what do you think of this Khash guy?"  
  
Kitty played with her fries for a minute, before answering, "He's weird. And I totally don't like how he showed us that movie on the first day; we could have waited to see it." She paused, fingering her food, thinking of all the dead bodies she had seen on the tape. "I don't think I can eat right now, Lance, I'm just going to go back to class."  
  
"Okay, Kitty, but I really need to talk to you," Lance said, and went back to eating his double cheese-burger, making Kitty gag.  
  
'How can he eat after watching that movie?' she thought to herself. 'Wait, he lives with Toad, I guess anything that he can handle anything now.'  
  
After about half an hour, Kitty quit walking around the block, and went back into the classroom. On the board, the words, "worry about you" was written. Kitty gave an odd glance to Khash before sitting down in her seat.  
  
Once everyone was seated, Khash said, "Okay class, now, I bet you're wondering why I put this on the board. You see, you need to think about yourself before anything else. Like say..." he was stopped when a boy wearing headphones walked into the room. "Hey, headphones," Khash said, trying to get the boys attention, "class started 5 minutes ago, where were you?"  
  
The boy looked at him for a second, and answered with an, "I don't know."  
  
Khash nodded, accepting the answer, but when "Headphones" kept listening to his CD player, the teacher took it away, probably so he could listen to it later.  
  
"Now, back to business, you need to think about yourself on the road. Let's say you're going down a hill, and there's a person behind you, and a person coming up next to you on your right. And you're driving along, bopping your head to the music," he demonstrated 'bopping' the head, "and a cute little squirrel walks into your path. What do you do?  
  
"You can't slam on your brakes, you'd hit the car behind you, you can't swerve to the right, because there's a car there, and you can't go left because you're on a hill, there is no left. So, you don't have a choice. Run the damn squirrel down! I mean, it was his time to go. Don't you think you're putting him out of his misery? What if he was about to be eaten alive by some hawk? Don't you think he would just want a quick death? And think about this- some endangered bird could pick up his dead body and feed it to his kids, so they won't be on the endangered list anymore. Isn't that a good thing?"  
  
He stared at the blank faces of his students, and decided now might be a good time to put in a movie.  
  
"This movie isn't bad at all, it's just showing how to safely share the road," he explained, putting the tape in the VCR.  
  
"Then why didn't you show it before lunch?" one girl asked.  
  
"Where's the fun in that?" Khash said with a smile on his face.  
  
He was right; the movie wasn't bad at all. Actually, the only part people really listened to was when a man on the TV asked that if they had a 20 bill, wouldn't they give it to someone who needed it, and Khash said, "hell no."  
  
Besides that, Kitty spent most of her time staring at Lance, ignoring most of what Khash said, unless he got so off topic, she just listened to figure out what he was talking about, or why he was talking about it, or where he even thought about it.  
  
She stopped thinking about Lance for a second to listen to Khash.  
  
"What kind of noise did Dinosaurs make anyways? I mean, what if that huge T- rex sounded like a duck? Or a rabbit? What kind of noises to rabbits make? You know, I had a rabbit once, but he ate my dad's garden, so I gave him to the Chinese place down the street."  
  
Kitty stopped listening when he got to talking about his pets during college, (two giant cockroaches) and started imaging herself on the road.  
  
'I bet I'll be the best driver there is,' she thought, picturing herself on a freeway. 'Get out of my way, you stupid car,' she shouted in her odd little daydream. 'Fine, don't get out of my way,' she phased through his car, ignoring the very rude sign she was getting. 'Teach you to get in the Shadowcat's way,' she shouted at him, (through her closed window, but hey- this is her daydream, so she can do what she wants). 'And then, I'll drive everyone to school, and people will be lining up to ride with me, even though Scott has a cooler car, because I'll be the best driver.'  
  
As Kitty thought about her future driving career, class was coming to a close.  
  
"Okay, now, Megan," he pointed at a girl, "could you tell me what we've leaned today?"  
  
"Um, my name's Cristina," the girl said.  
  
"Well, it's Megan now, anyways; could you tell me what you've learned?" he asked, brushing off the fact that he didn't know her name.  
  
"That you're smoking something?" someone in the back row said, and the class snickered.  
  
"I don't smoke before class, but, I think that's enough for today," Khash, said. It made you wonder-when did he smoke?  
  
Outside, Kitty and Lance stood together, Kitty waiting for Scott to pick her up, and Lance was waiting with her, because he didn't want to start walking home.  
  
"Hey, Kitty," he said awkwardly, "um...are you feeling better?"  
  
"About that movie earlier? No way, I so will never drink and drive," Kitty said.  
  
"Uh...yeah, me neither," Lance said, ignoring the little voice in his head that reminded him that he was drunk almost every night. He hated his conscience.  
  
"Well, okay, there's Scott," Kitty said, "I'll see you tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, sure," Lance said, "I'll be here all week."  
  
As Kitty got into the car, she ignored Scott's questions of what Lance was doing there, and why she was talking to him.  
  
When they got back, dinner was about to be served, (those classes run really late) and Kitty went into the dining room to see what they were having.  
  
"Hey, Ororo, what's for dinner? I'm like, totally starved, I couldn't eat lunch," Kitty said, looking around Ororo to see what dinner was.  
  
"A new recipe I just found, it's called stuffed bell peppers," Ororo said, showing Kitty her newest creation.  
  
In case you've never had the pleasure of eating one of these, they are bell peppers, with the tops cut of, and stuffed with hamburger and rice and potatoes, or something like that, I cook like Kitty, and so I'm not entirely sure. The point is, after watching a movie like, "Red Asphalt," this ordinary bell pepper tends to look like a head chopped off, with brains coming off the top. Kitty ran into the bathroom, and threw up. Ah, the wonder's of television. 


	3. Tabby

After four grueling days of drivers training, Kitty was ready to take her written test. She had expected Scott to take her to the DMV, but he and Jean both were busy. She suspected they were on a date, but they denied it firmly. So Tabitha volunteered to take her.

"Hey Tabitha," Kitty asked on the drive up, "aren't you younger than me?"

"Not by much," Tabitha said, cutting off another driver.

"Than how did you get your drivers permit before me? I just turned 15 and a half last Thursday," Kitty asked kind of puzzled.

Tabitha grinned and replied, "I went to the same driving school that Lance originally went to."

"But Lance said he didn't go to one..." Kitty trailed off, realizing what Tabitha meant. "You mean you don't really have your permit?"

"How about we drop it, okay? I don't want Baldy to figure anything out, though, I can't figure out why he hasn't busted me yet," Tabitha said, pulling into the DMV.

Kitty got all her papers together, and got out of the car.

"You'll pick me up when I'm done, right?" she asked Tabitha.

"Yeah, just call me on your cell phone when you're done. Good luck!" She tore out of the parking lot, almost crashing into another driver.

Kitty walked into the building, vaguely wondering how many people in Bayville didn't actually have a license. She knew the Brotherhood all drove, and she was pretty sure Todd had just turned 15. She lost track of thought when she into the main part of the building.

The place was huge. And there were a lot of people in it, in all different kinds of lines. There was a main desk, in which Kitty had to register, an eye test, pictures, and finally a room where she took her written exam.

An hour and 45 minutes later, Kitty called Tabitha, and yelled, "I got my permit!"

(!)

(!)

"Okay Kitty, now that you have your permit, let's find an empty parking lot for your first lesson," Tabitha said, once she picked Kitty up.

"I don't know Tabitha..." Kitty trailed off, trying to find a nice way to put the fact that she didn't want her first driving experience to be with a maniac.

"Oh, don't worry Kitty," Tabitha reassured her. "Everybody learns in a parking lot. That's where I first learned how to drive."

"I kind of wanted Scott or Jean to be the first people I drive with," Kitty said, trying not to hurt Tabby's feelings.

"Those guys? Please, they couldn't drive out of a paper bag...although, why would you want to? Hmmm.... That's a really stupid phrase," Tabby sat in silence for a few seconds, trying to make sense of what she just said.

"Okay Tabby," Kitty relented, knowing the blonde mutant wouldn't stop until she got her way.

Tabitha pulled into an empty parking lot, and got out of the car.

"Okay Kitty, switch seats with me, and we'll get started," she said. "Now, lift that lever, and press down on the gas."

Kitty complied, but realized she wasn't going anywhere. Tabby studied her feet for a second, and said, "Kitty, you do know which one's the gas and which one's the brake, right?"

"Well, I've never driven a car before," Kitty said. "I don't really know what any of this stuff does."

Tabby gave her a look, not being able to believe that she had never even backed it out of the parent's driveway, like all her friends had at least once. She gave Kitty a crash course on what all the things did, and they got started again.

After a while, Tabby told Kitty to speed up, and try going through the lampposts that were scattered within the parking lot.

"I don't know Tabby, what if I hit one?" Kitty asked.

"Relax, we're in the X-van, what harm could you do, and if you're about to hit it, you can just phase," Tabby replied.

"Oh yeah," Kitty said. She tried going through the lampposts, and was doing pretty good for a while, but on the sixth one, she was about to hit the pole.

"Phase Kitty!" Tabby yelled, bracing herself for the impact.

Kitty did, and the pole went right through them. Instead of being scared, and kicking Kitty out of the car, like she thought she would, Tabby actually seemed to enjoy it.

"Aw man, that's awesome!" She exclaimed. "Man, you can just phase out of anything. You won't ever get a ticket. That's so unfair!"

"You know the Professor wouldn't like it if I used my powers out in the open like that," Kitty said.

"Come on Kitty, do you think he'll really care as long as he doesn't need you to buy another car. He's got to be pretty annoyed at always having to buy Scotty a new one, and besides, what he doesn't know won't hurt him," Tabby said, pressing one of the buttons to see what it did. "Now, come on, let's go faster!"

(!)

(!)

Not far away, Scott and Jean were just finishing up their afternoon together. It wasn't a date, it was more of a, 'get out of the house before the new recruits drive us up the wall' kind of day. As they were driving home, they saw a very familiar car in an empty parking lot, driving at very fast speeds, and disappearing through solid objects.

"Scott, isn't that the X-van?" Jean asked.

"Yup," he replied.

"Do you think that that's Kitty, and that she got her permit?"

"Yup," he said again.

"We're in trouble, aren't we?" Jean asked worriedly, as she watched the van swerve dangerously close to another car, and listened to the squeal of the tires.

"Yup," Scott said, and drove out of there as fast as he could.

**A/N Okay people's, sorry it took so long for me to update, I wanted to get my permit before I gave her one. I'm thinking of ending it off right here? What do you guys think? I wanted to answer why Kitty thinks she's such a good driver when she isn't, and I saw "Walk on the Wild Side," and I saw Tabby's driving, and figured she gave Kitty her first lesson. And I also just wanted to answer why Scott and Jean knew that Kitty had got her permit, and was a bad driver before everyone else. So, read and tell me what you think in your review. **


End file.
